The picture is focused on the sign and not my face, but you can still make out my cry face on stage at MoMondays Halifax. It was the first time telling the story of my bicycle accident to anyone that wasn't a doctor or directly affected by my trauma.
It was 3 years after that traumatic day and I was fearfully ready to be vulnerable in public. There was no expectation of a pity party because I had already seen all the wonderful things that came out of such a horrible experience. What I needed was to share hope, courage & connection.
Why do we fear being vulnerable?
Basically, both parties could become uncomfortable with the feelings that arise. Whether it's rejection, hurt, conflict, weakness, overwhelm, or feeling like you're not enough, it all boils down to how we accept and manage emotions. The truth is, most of us aren't very good at it.
Emotions are natural.
They are not "good" or "bad," they just "are." We are not emotion, but they are states that come and go with both physiological and psychological aspects. They are messages to us and others about our care, comfort, stimulation and interaction.
Showing emotion is how we relate, understand and communicate with others. Emotions act as our guide to keep us safe, make connections and help as grow. The key is to be mindful in how we manage our emotions.
Being mindful means we start by becoming aware of our feelings. Then, without judging them, we practice riding the wave of emotion and letting it go. In doing so we can get back to the present moment, receive the message an emotion brings, and create the space to respond instead of react.
Telling my story of transformation was more important than a bit of vulnerability. Those tears of healing & love connected us all. There's a difference between being destructive & being constructive.
If you're going to be vulnerable, don't just be positive about it, do it with a PURPOSE!
Much Love, Laura Lake
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