If you're constantly looking for motivation, do you actually desire whatever it is you're trying to be motivated to do or be? If you don't want to do it, you generally won't. How do we want what we need? Happiness Yes, we all want happiness. It's that wonderful feeling of everything seeming right with the world. When we're present with it, we feel contentment, joy, and can't help but smile! Happiness is also rooted in our needs, as outlined in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Why? It is more deeply satisfying to fulfil needs than wants. It may sound odd, but let me give you an example: Ex. You WANT cool sport socks that make your feet feel like heaven as you walk. You NEED a new pair of sneakers because the ones you have keep feeding your toes random rocks as you walk. I buy you the cool new sports socks with arch support. Ahh...thanks, but they're just going to continue getting wet & dirty in your crappy sneakers. You won't be able to enjoy them very long, if at all. Chasing wants is always wanting what we don't have already. It focuses on what we are lacking and therefore never lets us feel fulfilled. When we fulfill our needs we are able to build a foundation on which to climb higher. Each level of self is sturdy because we feel safe, supported, and able to grow without fear of falling. This is where gratitude comes in.
Appreciate and be thankful for what we have already. Whether you believe in the Law of Attraction or not, like attracts like and abundant thoughts help create abundant actions. So what does happiness & gratitude have to do with wanting my needs? Eww, Needs
Have you ever tried to convince someone to do something they didn't want to do? It's usually a horrible mess of resentment, anger, and frustration. No thank you. ~raises palms in the air~ I'm guessing you've tried to bribe them. Sometimes that works, but if the bribe isn't worth it to them, it's still a no-go. Whether it's something they're unfamiliar with, afraid of, or just not interested in, there are ways to help move them forward.
1. Let Desire Take the Lead Find out what they DO want and let their known desires take the lead. Desire pulls us forward as laid out in last week's blog about the 2 main motivators. So how do we use that pull and any momentum we have, and apply it to something else? Find anything that is similar & connected in some way!
What do their main desires have to do with whatever you're trying to get them to do?
How can accomplishing the unwanted task help them achieve their goals faster?
Are there similar situations or transferable skills involved?
Find anything that is similar & connected in some way!
Searching for the connections could be as simple as: Ex. I'm career driven and seek to share my biggest impact with people. By changing my morning routine from checking my phone to visualizing my ideal lifestyle, I have more clarity of purpose, higher vibrating & inspiring emotion, and better focus for the day. This allows me to create a bigger impact with less effort.
2. Peak Some Curiosity Someone you admire is getting the awesome results you want. You're drawn into asking questions about how they did it. Now, if they approached you months ago about the actions they were taking you probably would have dismissed them as trying to push something on you. You know it's true. We all have that friend. (Try this product or program, etc.)
Peaking their curiosity is not about educating them as much as growing interest by osmosis.
Try to be a silent example and expose them to bits and pieces of the experience without them having to go through it themselves. On some level people are scared of things they don't know.
Peaking their curiosity is not about educating them as much as growing interest by osmosis.
3. Embrace Your Emotions
It's almost always a form of fear that stops us from doing or trying something. Are you afraid of looking silly, hurting yourself, failing? Or maybe you're afraid of what would happen if you succeeded. Is it an area of conflict? Conflict makes most people uncomfortable, but it's temporary. Distractions and procrastination the problem? Yup, those are emotionally charged too. Write down why you feel you don't want to do something. Then write why your answer matters. Keep going until your answers stop changing or make a loop. That's your root cause. Address it.
4. Intention & Standards
I'm going to say it right now: let go of the expectations and focus on your intention. Intention is not an end goal, but a way of going about something. It may not ever be reached, but the guiding direction is there.
Intention is not an end goal, but a way of going about something.
Have personal standards, boundaries, values & priorities. Find out what they are normally & how they may change. What are your absolute bottom line/ can't take another minute of this crap/enough is enough, limits? Why there? Why not higher? How does dropping expectations from you and those around you, affect your standards? What about the intensity of intention?
5. Rewards Rewards don't make you want to do the action itself, but they can make the effort worth while. Find suitable rewards that add value to your efforts & might even make them easier. Don't like going to the gym? After so many workouts this month, buy yourself a good yoga mat that doesn't slip or is covered in the sweat of multiple strangers. Try rewards that aren't just extrinsic/ outside-of-yourself. Is there a way to add an intrinsic/ sense-of-self element to your reward? Ex. Practising yoga and using free weights give me the mind-body connection and healing attention to let go of daily stress.
How do YOU want things you need?
Share by using the hashtag #BEDMASlife.
Learn, Love, and keep your Momentum,
Laura Lake <3