Daily mantras on Instagram, famous quotes on Twitter, and success stories on Facebook may give you that quick jolt of motivation, but it doesn't last. We're told to think bigger, deeper, and more personal. What does that look like? What are the biggest motivators?
The Habit
We look for the easier path that takes less effort. This is still engrained in us from our distant past as a species, where survival was more difficult. You may have heard the saying "putting a Bandaid® on a bullet hole." This is the typical habit until we find a situation where the payoff is worth the extra effort. Yes, taking the bullet out, cleaning the wound, and sewing it up will hurt... a lot... but to have it heal well with minimal complications, it's neccesary.
It's okay to want to do the least amount of work, but weigh the consequences of your choices. Don't know the consequences? Ask a professional, typically not a friend or family member unless they actually have the expertise.
Role of Motivation
Why do we want to be motivated? Because it gives us the desire to change our thoughts, behaviours, and perceptions. It helps us take action, put in extra effort with more focus, strive for better quality of life, and adds to our purpose.
Motivation makes us feel happy, confident, valued, and able to accomplish things. It heightens our risk tolerance, energy levels, and speed at which we get things done. It's that mini cheerleader in your head telling you to get up and go, go, go!
Main Motivators
There are many little things that motivate an individual. From the beloved daily quotes, to inspiring podcasts, the perfect essential oils, and the taste left on your tongue from that delicious meal you had on a night out with people you care about.
Even an event such as the death of a friend can motivate you to reexamine your life choices and make a change. Being reminded of our mortality is a very powerful motivator. May our loved ones rest in peace.
[The examples] all stem from 2 main motivators: ones that push you away, and ones that pull you in.
There are connections between the above examples. They all stem from 2 main motivators: ones that push you away, and ones that pull you in.
Usually I express these types as the emotional equivalents of fear & desire/love.
Fear
Fear is very powerful. Right from the beginning we have the instinct to run away from things we don't know, don't like, or are afraid of. This is because usually, they are in some way a threat to our survival. The fight, flight, or freeze instinct kicks in and our mind tries to find ways to save ourselves. The emotion of fear is a high energy state because it requires immediate action to survive. Our heart races, we warm up, adrenaline is pumped through our system & heightening our senses, all so we can be prepared to analyze & run if need be.
The emotion of fear is a high energy state...
Part of this emotional power comes from how vivid a picture fear gives us. Without much thought we can create a whole movie in our mind in which bad things happen and worst case scenarios are the norm. This intense picture draws in as many senses as possible & builds such a realistic thought in our neural pathways that it's hard to see the truth around it.
The pushing comes from us being repelled by the thing that caused the fear. It's quick & powerful BUT it has no direction except "away." Fear is a great way to get started when you're in a crunch or when you let things go beyond your boundaries. Getting to the point of "enough" leaves you with few options of escape. Instead, try the second main motivator before fear gets too close.
Desire/Love
Desire is that feeling of wanting with intensity & passion. Most of the time it's the people, places, and things we love, but not always. It draws you in with it's seductive nature because it not only has what you need, but is everything you want. Ooo, goosebumps!
Pulling you in, is hands off. Nobody & nothing is forcing you toward your desires, that is of your own free will. It's there if you want it, but you have to reach out and go get it.
The secret is in making the picture of desire more clear & alluring than the picture of your fears.
The secret is in making the picture of desire more clear & alluring than the picture of your fears.
OMG, there's an ex boss, significant other, or friend across the room, ugh. How would you react if right afterwards you saw someone you admired, loved, or desired to meet on the opposite side of the room? Take note of your reaction and which you focused on. How would your decision affect the outcome of your evening?
Clarifying and visualizing what you desire isn't always easy because it hasn't happened yet. This intangible scenario doesn't feel as real as the fear based story. Play out your dreams, goals & desires in your mind, add detail, come up with dialogue, feelings and involve all your senses even if it's only pretend. Make this story more real & more powerful than your fear.
The Switch
Let's bring it all together with some simple steps you can do right now:
Identify & acknowledge what motivations you have that shock, scare, or push you away. (Ex. I don't want to be more alone as I become more successful)
Come up with scenarios that are the complete opposite & focus on what you actually want to do, feel, & be. (Ex. The people around me are more genuine & lift me up.)
Find ways to make your dream scenarios more real. (Ex. Write out accomplishments, characteristics, and preferences as foundational proof & credentials)
Experience your desires everyday. (Ex. Take a few minutes to play out your dreams in your mind and pretend to use all your senses to experience it.)
Making the switch from fear based motivations to desire/love based & creating a clear story in your mind of your dreams, will help you take more focused steps in the direction of your goals. You're so awesome. Show the world!
Are YOU currently more motivated by fear or desire? What do you desire?
Share by using the hashtag #BEDMASlife.
Learn, Love, and keep your Momentum,
Laura Lake <3