Every time something new comes up, the question "How do I _?" follows. We feel as though we need to have all the answers in order to say we're ready enough to start. We want to automatically say "no" because we don't know how. How do I get more clients? How do I write compelling copy to cold prospects? How do I market to my social media following? How do I write an e-mail sequence to increase sales? Comfort Zone We are comfortable when we know what to expect. Knowing how something will turn out isn't possible with something new. The best we can do is get more familiar with all the details of how. This is why "How" is usually more of a question of comfort. Here are a few thoughts:
The focus is on lack. You don't have, know, or aren't yet something. The answers are thought to be outside of yourself and something that will flick the switch from 0 to instant results.
There is a need to feel in control. You love to get caught up in the details of "how" so we feel as though we have more control over the situation.
The belief in a "right" way. You are conditioned to believe there is a right way to do everything. From tests & rules to processes & standards, somebody, somewhere has "figured it all out" and your job is to follow exactly.
Yes, we all need to learn some "hows" in all areas of life & business, but in this post we're just focusing on the drive for nitty gritty details because I'm sorry, which shift button or pencil I use has nothing to do with the speed, quality, or impact of my writing.
Letting Go of "How" As you may have heard, I took on a new style project. Never have I ever planned a conference or any big event before, but boy oh boy was I ready to take on the challenge.
"As I'm gathering up all my transferable skills and learning as I go, THIS is when I realized the "how" doesn't matter."
I can hear you now, "OMG Laura, why would you do something so huge with no experience?" Because my community & ideal clients outright told me a problem they had, gave suggestions on how to fix it, and knew I understood them enough to craft a solopreneur conference just for them!
Shameless Plug: Please take the 5-minute survey for the Solopreneur Conference & share it with your community. MUCH appreciated! ^.^ As I'm gathering up all my transferable skills and learning as I go, THIS is when I realized the "how" doesn't matter. I know it's a big task & organization is key, but I've got my spreadsheets, my contacts, the all-knowing Google, and frankly the balls to ask for help.
Self-Trust & WHY
In my heart, I know I trust myself. You'd never know it, but I was probably a young kid the last time the self-trust was there. I said it out loud for the first time a couple weeks ago and I teared up from the revelation.
NOT knowing "how"... but following my vision, my intention, and my WHY, has rebuilt that confidence & trust. It reassures me everything will be okay because I know, with something this important, I will push myself to do things that feel uncomfortable. I will grow. I will learn. I will continue on with greater strength.
Knowing your WHY gives you something desirable, specific, and emotionally seductive to aim for. As we uncover the root reasons for doing things, those reasons pull us forward as they are the best motivators. Holding onto a vision means focusing on specific outcomes, not how you got there. Being flexible with how things happen while keeping your eye on the prize has you much more able to overcome obstacles & pick yourself up from mistakes.
"Being flexible with how things happen while keeping your eye on the prize has you much more able to overcome obstacles & pick yourself up from mistakes."
Does it matter which pen J.K. Rowling used to make notes for Harry Potter? Did it matter that the Wright Brothers were skilled with bikes, not planes?
Freedom
Eleanor Beaton, a women's entrepreneurial leadership development coach, said it well "[There's a] sense of peace in pursuing your mission." It's because a mission, vision, and gritty why are not just goals, they are deeply rooted, passionate, and value focused journeys. I've said it many times, we all want to be heard, be understood, and feel better. Most of our reasons for pursuing things is because of our sense of freedom, community, and connectivity.
Freedom is what you feel when you're no longer feeling chased, when you can finally "exhale," and when the only expectations of you are to live fully & authentically. How does it feel to seek out & follow the tiny details of "how?" How does it feel to focus on a vision, intention, or big why? What do you do when you come across an obstacle? How often to you try new things?
What tiny details of "how" are you caught up in? What is your intention with this effort?
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Learn, Love, and keep your Momentum,
Laura Lake <3
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