You can find countless articles & blogs that will share tips and tricks for boosting confidence. This is NOT one of those articles. I'm a fan of going beyond the surface chatter and digging deeper! What do all of those suggestions have in common? Is there a pattern? Let's discuss. What is Confidence? I'm a huge fan of Dictionary.com, so here is their definition of "confidence:"
"full trust; belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing"
"belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance"
When we are talking about building confidence, most of the time what we mean is self-confidence. The difference is in where it starts: outside or inside.
From the Outside
There are many people trying to change things in their particular environment to make themselves feel more confident. Some are big, others are small, but it all impacts how they feel. Ex. Friends that are vocally supportive, an office space where you can focus & function well, or a new piece of equipment like a round recording light. Are you one of these people?
If you are that's perfectly okay. It's all great to have & does help you feel better, but it doesn't address or nurture the root of your confidence. What would happen if those things were gone? I want you to feel just as confident without all that wonderful stuff because you're worth it. Focus Within Self-confidence is not about other people, places or things...it's about YOU! It's giving yourself permission to be who you are, as you are. It's placing trust in yourself to honour your values the way you believe is right. Confidence is not so much a skill to be developed as it is a frame of mind or mental stance to be practiced. It's not a skill to trust yourself or believe in yourself, you just choose to do those things. By using the same ways we come back from imposter syndrome, we can more accurately self-assess and anchor ourselves in our self-confidence. Methods like comparing yourself to your starting point and acknowledging your journey are just the beginning of a hundred ways to practice.
Commonalities of Confidence Tips Ok, so here's the pattern. All those tips you find all over the internet have a couple major things in common. Are there more? Probably. Let me know if you've seen more commonalities!
They help you recognize the things you have done and the type of person you are. A confident mind is more open to self improvement. It sounds like an oxymoron, but if you leave ego out of it, you understand the limits of what you know.
They show you ways to uphold your values while learning and practicing your character. Nobody knows and understands you like you do. What really matters to you? Is this choice the best fit for honouring those values? That's part of how you define what's right.
Bird or branch?
Let me tell you a small story to illustrate the above points. A bird flies through the air and lands on a tiny tree branch. It hops around a bit and flies away. A bigger bird lands on the same branch. Just as he starts to hop, the tiny branch breaks. If you've watched birds land before, they don't seem to care about the size of the branch that much. Birds don't need to place full confidence in the branch because it doesn't matter. The bird is confident in it's skills to catch itself and fly away if ever the branch did break. Believe in YOU That's what I want for you; to be confident that you'll do what you can in each moment. Now, strike your favourite super hero/power pose and we'll talk about them next week! What are YOUR favourite tips to build confidence from the inside? Share via social media using the hashtag #BEDMASlife. Live, Love, and keep your Momentum, Laura Lake :) Facebook.com/LauraLakeDesigns