With all the video conversations lately as well as planning the Solopreneur Conference and my first webinar, I've come across a pattern which I knew was there but didn't realize just how much it affected ALL our businesses.
It's not only part of start-ups or the beginning phases of business that are impacted by this pattern, but even the ones that have been in the industry for 10+ years.
What is it? Here it is:
You're afraid to show up, truly be seen, create bold change, and allow yourself to be what you see as successful.
Why?
Because you're afraid you'll fail, disappoint others, be wrong, and be proven as not good enough. You feel uncomfortable with vulnerability, the unknown, and the belief that you'll change as the money really starts to come in. You shy away from complete authenticity & innovation because “that's not how things are done” in your industry. You feel as though "things could be better" & use it as proof you're not worthy of success even though you've done a crap load of work around your imposter syndrome & money mindset.
“that's not how things are done”..."things could be better"
So you shy away from the really hard, deeper work that connects us all because it brings up all those fears. You shy away from what makes you uncomfortable and shove it down inside to “free up” part of yourself to handle the busy demands of the day.
Little do you know how much it drains & divides you to hide things away and hold them there. You're not as present, energetic, healthy, or confident as you once were. You're not trusting yourself like you used to because your words, actions & values don't match up as much anymore.
You see this mis-match of direction as just not knowing enough...
You see this mis-match of direction as just not knowing enough so you go to a bunch of webinars and training sessions just to implement 1 or 2 out of the 50 you've been to already. You try to do everything yourself until you can “afford” to delegate because you just can't take the risk to spend that much time & money on quality solopreneurs and micro businesses JUST LIKE YOU.
Take a deep breath & let that sink in...
How can we expect others to know, like, trust & buy from us if we're not even doing it for ourselves. (OUCH!) More on the 7 step 0 to hero framework used for the Solopreneur Conference HERE.
The core truth is we're teased for being different. We're taught at a young age that being wrong or failing is bad & that we need all the answers. We've developed a need to fix things & other people because that's how we feel comfortable & safe. We picked up the belief that money is evil & the wealthy are greedy monsters even if they started out trying to help people...like you do. We don't want to be sleazy monsters!
But it doesn't need to be like that.
There is no danger as we used to perceive it. In times past we used to have to fit in with our tribe because being kicked out meant almost certain death. We don't have to fit in with the tribe we're given anymore, we have the ability to create our own!
Fear exists for a reason. It's meant to help you take action or be hyper aware so you can take action at a better time & stay safe. Instead of ignoring it, thank it for having your back. Thank it for giving you the energy to get things done. Fear expands us beyond our limits as we need the momentum to push past the friction of passing through. It's the rush we feel before our excitement. That's why fear and excitement are so hard to tell apart physically.
How do we work WITH this fear?
Recognize the stories you carry for what they are...stories. This is just ONE of the many we tell ourselves as heart-centred entrepreneurs. Remember some of the teachings of mindfulness:
Thoughts are not facts but our brain can't tell the difference.
Create space to observe & be curious.
Practice letting go of judgement.
Act with purpose & intention.
Redirect thoughts to presence & gratitude.
This is how we begin to show up for ourselves!
Being seen means vulnerability as it shows the depth of your heart and character. It shows the "being" part of our self-value that doesn't get much attention. We're too focused on the "doing" as it reflects who we should be and not who we ARE.
Being seen & showing up also means:
higher performance
more confidence
better connections & relationships
increased stress management
clearer thinking
faster decisions
more resilience
stronger energy
improved clarity
and a slew of other things that ripple effect out into your life.
Show up by getting clear on who you are, & not just your accomplishments. What do you value? What brings you joy? How do you want to be treated inside & out? Then think about how you want to help others with your unique set of characteristics, skills & experiences.
Only YOU can show up as you & there are people out there who are looking for YOU to help them, not someone else.
What stories do YOU tell yourself?
Share by using the hashtag #BEDMASlife.
Learn, Love, and keep your Momentum,
Laura Lake <3