I was watching Simon Sinek LIVE on Facebook a few days ago and he mentioned how others share the value we give to them by how we make them feel.
It got me thinking. What value do I give to others? No, I don't want to come up with how I see my value to them, but to be attentive to how THEY express my value to them.
Let's explore...
The Concept
Simon asks us to find a friend (not a partner or family member) that loves us. Since we are trying to find more of your business and personal value combined, I'm asking you to find that business friend who loves you and you've had deeper conversations with. You know, that connection that you can call up anytime if you needed to? Them.
Simon says to "ask them why you're friends. What specifically is there about me that I know you'd be there for me no matter what?"
Now, hopefully you've found business connections that you can be this open with, but if not, ask them why you've both connected so well. What specifically is there about you that they'd show you support no matter what?"
There will be some words they attempt to describe you as, but they will be generic. Simon explains that eventually the'll stumble into describing themselves and how you make them feel. This kind of articulation will start to give you an emotional response. This mix of description and feelings is the value you give them.
The more people you ask, the more you find they have pretty much the same answers. Growing Awareness
Having those heart-felt conversations is always a delight, but how do we grow that awareness of our value?
Reading recommendations, reviews, and testimonials. Hopefully you're already asking for this type of feedback. Read or listen to as many as you need to start seeing patterns. Write them down.
Accepting compliments. The best compliments come from people who know you well. These people have seen the proof that formulated the belief behind their words. What are they always telling you? Ask for their experience if you need more proof.
Engaging our top followers & connections. What do your top fans say about you? Ask them why they love to engage on your posts or at your events.
Monitoring growth. How were your clients feeling before starting to work with you? How do they feel now? How have you grown working with them?
These are just a few methods I've been thinking about. How many other ways can you think of to get feedback in your specific industry and methods of connection.
The Plan
I want you to grow into your expertise & confidence. I want you to make the money you wish to make to help you live the lifestyle you wish to live. I want you to show up for yourself so you know how to show up for others.
So here's the plan:
Commit to deeper listening. The goal is to look for the words and emotions people use to describe us. Pay attention to all the awareness methods listed above as well as your own ways to gather feedback. Example 1: Laura is a banana. Example 2: Laura is playful & strong.
Practice Self-Reflection. Once we know the words people use, we'll filter them through our knowledge and beliefs of who we are. Example 1: Lol, of course I'm not a banana. That's just silly. There is no part of a belief there so it does not affect me and I dismiss it. Example 2: Oh, yes. Indeed I identify with both of these. I may not be as physically strong as I prefer at the moment, but overall I feel this description honours my beliefs and positive sense of self.
Write down the patterns of feedback. Take note of the constructive patterns of words that keep coming up that you also identify with. Example: Some words I keep hearing are "Strong, Intelligent, Courageous, Inspiring, Safe Space, Deep."
List proof. We have a negative bias to keep us safe, so we need to own the proof we have that shows us more of the positive. People tell you this feedback for a reason. What are your personality traits, skills, and experiences that prove their words true? Example: I practice what I call constructive vulnerability. It means I share aspects of my struggle story with the intention of adding value and insight to others. The first time I talked about my bike accident in public was on stage at MoMondays in 2016. I wanted to show people that failure is not the end, it's the beginning of opportunity. If that's not a show of strength, then I don't know what is.
Celebrate it. Own it. Be proud. You deserve it. Never forget who you are and the lessons you've learned along the way. You're a badass. Example: Crying and healing on stage was one of the most vulnerable things I've ever done. I am so proud of my healing journey and taking back my life that this picture doesn't make me sad, it inspires me with joy and love.
If you're not monitoring how you add value to other people, how will you know what to market to your newer audience? When you're clear about your value and the value you WANT to add to people, then you have more focus and direction for the actions you need to take to achieve it.
Your Value You have so much value that you don't even see. You're too close or too involved to see it. Having that outside perspective from people who know and love you just for being you is invaluable. What's normal for you is not normal for everyone. Let people share their perspective & grow from there. What compliments do you tend to get in business?
Share by using the hashtag #BEDMASlife.
Learn, Love, and keep your Momentum,
Laura Lake <3
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