This last week has taught me a HUGE lesson in self-expression & visibility: We all tend to want the same general things, but it's in our expression of these things that help us build connection and take up space. General Wants
Over the course of many interviews, shows, meetings, and conversations, I've had the chance to ask or talk about core desires. Some of the repeating topics of desire include things like: freedom, joy, adventure, connection, exploration, peace, and love. While this certainly isn't a full list, you can see how all of these things are generic. If you asked every person you met what each of these desires would look like in their ideal form for THEM, you'd get an array of different answers and details. For example, feeling and expressing love for me looks much different than the way my daughter feels and expresses it. The general methods of practice are called the 5 love languages, yet the details of how I express my love language of physical touch can look vastly different from another with the same love language. Self-Expression
Your definition of the above general desires are filtered through your beliefs & experiences. How you define it is largely up to you. How you choose to take action on it is an expression of who you are. There is a culture of asking a lot of questions centered around the details of how to do things and in my current opinion, a lot of this (in the context of creative entrepreneurship) stems from not having clarity on the reasons behind the actions as well as an incomplete sense of self. In it's simple form, it's related to self-trust.
How you choose to take action.. is an expression of who you are.
Dictionary.com defines self-expression as "the expression or assertion of one's own personality, as in conversation, behaviour, poetry, or painting." Expression is just the showing (of personality) or the action of putting something into words. Our personality helps define the way we express ourselves & communicate. Communication & Connection
In order to build relationships, we use all sorts of forms of communication. This communication is picked up by our 5 (or more) senses and relays the information to our mental filters for processing. Connection is formed when we stop segmenting ourself first, then seek out others. "Oh, I only act a certain way when I'm with a certain group of people." Not feeling safe or not feeling like you have permission to be yourself is a big red flag to segmentation.
If you're not communicating, you're not connecting.
To build & maintain a relationship there needs to be attention, listening, vulnerability, compassion, and an emotional anchor. The goal is to show others who you are, and in turn they show you who they are. Together you explore the ability to fulfill needs.
If you're not communicating, you're not connecting.
My Truth Bomb I wasn't communicating well. I felt invisible because in some of my closest relationships I segmented myself, didn't express myself as often, and went back into old defaults due to beliefs that no longer supported the vision of my best self. I felt invisible because I wasn't practicing my authenticity to the extent that I had come to understand it. There is a big difference between who I have become and who I was still allowing myself to be in certain situations. I'm no longer the girl that seeks out others to be my protector, my life teacher, or my "fix-it" project.
I felt invisible because I wasn't practicing my authenticity to the extent that I had come to understand it.
I'm starting to feel visible again because my self-expression matters, it's how I carve out space in this world that is my own. The words I say, the things I do, and the way I feel matters. So what if my beliefs aren't the same as yours. That's okay. Your beliefs were learned based on your experiences. Who am I to decide someone else's perceived experience?
Action
What have I decided to do? I've recommitted to expressing myself appropriately no matter the situation. Will it be hard? Oh yeah! Will I do my best to practice anyway? Yes, of course. That's all I can ask from myself. I will continue to build trust within myself by honouring who I am and the fact that I matter just as much as somebody else. I will not expect perfection, but will take notice of when I fall short and learn so I can do better on the next leg of my journey.
I want to feel less invisible, so I practice self-expression as proof that I matter.
I want to feel less invisible, so I practice self-expression as proof that I matter. What proof are you gathering that will support your personal & professional growth?
What proof are you creating that shows you matter?
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Learn, Love, and keep your Momentum,
Laura Lake <3