Being an expert and becoming an authority on mental health for solopreneurs doesn't make me immune to it's sway or it's toll, I've just learned how to manage better and pick myself up faster when I do fall. The climb back up is much easier when you've done it before. The obstacles in life and business are going to keep coming, but it's not our job to learn how to avoid them per se, but how best to handle them when they do arise. It's our job to become smarter, faster, better, and more resilient than we used to be...but with less effort. How do you pick yourself up? Where do you start? Commit to Getting Up I want you to do something with me. Place your left hand in the middle of your chest halfway between your heart and your collar bone. Place your right hand just under the peak of your ribs, on your diaphragm. Then I want you to close your eyes, breathe in for 4 seconds & slowly out for 8 seconds. While your eyes are still closed, make a commitment to yourself to keep getting up. It could sound something like "Dear me, it doesn't matter how far or how often I fall, I promise to keep picking myself up. I've got me & commit to getting up Every. Single. Time."
"Dear me, it doesn't matter how far or how often I fall, I promise to keep picking myself up. I've got me & commit to getting up Every. Single. Time."
Take another 4 second in breath and slowly let it out for 8 seconds. Take note of how that commitment feels in your body & what emotions came up.
This commitment can't come from anywhere else. It's not asking you to fix everything, or do anything else, just to put the effort in to support yourself. The rest can come after.
Our Old Self When things happen that throw us off our course, and big changes occur, we can feel as though we lost ourselves. Part of that is true.
The person who we were no longer exists because big jumps in growth are required to move forward. We grieve for who we once were and seek comfort in the safety of knowing that version of ourselves. Example. Think of each time you get the latest version of that app or computer program you love using. Ugh, new things to learn again!Lol.
Let me share what I've learned after avoiding the truth for years: You'll never be that same person again. Instead of trying to feel like "you" again, build a better version. The old you couldn't handle it's comfort zone anymore and the new you broke through.
Instead of trying to feel like "you" again, build a better version.
The old you is now the foundation that helps you stand up again. It shows you how badass you are, all that you have accomplished, and who you are as a person. If we forget who we were then there's nothing to stand on and most of our time is wasted trying to build a new foundation of self from scratch. Thank the old you for being badass and getting you this far.
Start With Old You
Get reacquainted with the best of who you were. It still makes up who you are and will help guide you to building who you want to be. Ask yourself questions like:
How did you express your personality?
What characteristics made you YOU?
What have you overcome?
What have you accomplished?
How did you add value to the world around you?
Starting with the old you opens your eyes to how truly badass you are! People can tell you all the time, but if you don't discover it for yourself, you won't believe them. If you don't believe it yet, say to yourself "I'd like to think I'm badass. I'd like to think I'm _____." How Badasses Get Up Healing & growing is a very personal experience because of all the different answers you'll get from the above questions.
A lot of emotions will come up during this period of change, and all of them are okay & take time to process. Be kind to yourself now and you'll get through it faster & farther ahead. Why? Because omg you went deeper and dealt with the stuff nobody wants to acknowledge is there.
May I just say that THAT in and of itself is a badass move. Congrats!
Badasses not only pick themselves up but they take action. They never feel ready, never think they have the perfect answer, and never do only one thing & think they're done. Badasses put in the effort to find any and all ways to not just get up, but start moving again.
May I just say that [going deeper] in and of itself is a badass move. Congrats!
Get Moving
Momentum is "strength or force gained by motion or by a series of events" as defined by Merriam-Webster (Omg Dictionary.com I'm so sorry! The hard to spell dictionary had better word choices. I still love you though!) Our goal is to build up the strength, find our own forces, and create motion by taking action. At first it could be any helpful action that happens to be easy and right in front of you. Eventually you branch out to harder tasks, digging further for information, and even (le gasp) asking for help! Congratulations! Now you'll gain momentum and start to see bigger and bigger changes and growth happening. Life is not experienced or accomplished alone.
Life is not experienced or accomplished alone.
When I was healing after my bicycle accident in 2011, I used MANY things to help me heal. I wrote a quick note to a friend outlining just a FEW of the things I've used to help me pick myself up & gain momentum:
Did I have all the answers? No. Did I know how to do all of this stuff? No. Did I even know what some of this was before the accident? Ohhh no!
I just looked for any and all ways to help me feel better. I tried them & practiced the ones I could, in any way I could and made small steps every single day to help me move forward. It wasn't done perfectly, I didn't always have a professional helping me, and I didn't know if it would help or how it would help. Once you start trying things you can decide which ones you like, which ones are worth the effort, and which ones (despite your preferences) actually work well.
Get Up AGAIN Will life throw more curveballs? Probably. When it does, remember the commitment you made to yourself to just get up. It doesn't matter how many times we get knocked down, lose our balance, or fall, we can and have gotten back up. We will continue to do so. THAT is how we are ready for the next level of what we want life to be or what it has in store for us.
Badasses are badasses not because they don't give up, but because they don't give up on THEMSELVES.
Do you trust yourself to do the best you can in each given moment? Do you understand how you react & respond in different situations? Do you have a vision of who you want to be that requires you to grow today?
Badasses are badasses not because they don't give up, but because they don't give up on THEMSELVES.
We're all susceptible to the forces life throws at us, but it's how we respond in the face of these forces that determines where we are headed. I choose forward. I choose my dreams. I choose service to the people and causes I care about. I choose YOU, Pikachu! (Nerd reference, FYI.) You have amazing things inside you. Owning who you are, how you do it, and not giving up on yourself or your why is absolute badass-titude! (Also nerd reference.)
What do you want to gain confidence in?
Share by using the hashtag #BEDMASlife.
Learn, Love, and keep your Momentum,
Laura Lake <3